I must have been distracted when he took that insidious portable cage out of the closet. Before I could think twice, he grabbed my collar and started dragging me towards it, that infernal prison!

I dug my paws in. "Unhand me, you treacherous foe!" I cried.

He relented and grunted in resignation. I would not be caged! I would not be cowed!

Content in my victory, I paced over to the window and placed my paws upon the sill. It was a splendid, cloudless autumn day. A fine day for a walk. A solitary leaf spiraled into the yard. "Shall we go for a walk soon?" I called out to him. I had forgiven him already for the cage incident---he wasn't very bright; it was hard to hold a grudge against him for long. "A walk? Fine day for a walk," I repeated.

Ah, but what was this skittering and sliding across the hardwood? Why, it's my imitation squirrel! I love this game! I dashed headlong after it. I pawed it to the side, then snatched it up with a mighty growl. I shook it, spat it out, and then seized it again! I imagined I was on the hunt like all my fearsome ancestors before me. This squirrel was stuffed, of course---it did not scamper---but it squeaked ever so naturally. Listen as it squeals in its death throes! I will bring this prize back to the master-hunter.

I carried it aloft right to his waiting hand. He grunted, pleased with my performance. I let him have the squirrel and he threw it again and I again raced off! And again and again!

The next time I brought it back, I thought he might like to play a different game, one of his favorites. I positioned my mouth carefully on one end of the squirrel and then made as if I was going to let him take it. But as soon as his hand touched it, I clamped down my jaw and pulled away. Surprised, he pulled back on his end, stumbling slightly at first, but then finding his footing. It was to be a war, a war of tugging! Who would yield first?

Soon, I felt his strength flagging. Seizing the opening, I lowered myself and pulled with utmost force. I was gaining on him! I took one, two, three steps backwards. Victory would soon be mine! I strained all my muscles from my tail to my teeth and pulled at the squirrel. I heard several stitches pop. And there! Ha---he relinquished his grasp! His sudden---but inevitable!---loss of strength sent me staggering back. But oh---alas! Alas! I had danced right into his fiendish trap! Little had I known that my back had been to the cage this whole time! But it was too late. Now he locked the iron bars, enclosing me together with my stuffed squirrel, now a mere token of my hubris.

I argued with him for some time. I reasoned, cajoled, implored, and even begged for my freedom. But all fell upon deaf ears.

I was carried into the mud room, where I heard him take down my leash from its peg. I knew it was not for a walk. The metal clasp jingled, but I knew it was not for a walk, for I was caged! I would not get a walk today...

With the criss-crossed bars of the prison etched upon my vision, I watched as the scenes passed before my helpless form: the front door; the leaf-strewn steps; the lawn; the sidewalk; the curb---here I asked him to please let me out---I had to urinate, I truly did, but he had no mercy; the back of the automobile; a short but bumpy ride, harrowing at all turns; a forsaken parking lot; sliding glass doors; and---Agh! The Smells! The familiar and horrid and couldn't-be-forgotten Smells! I wished to plug my nose with roses. It was horrible. There was bleach and hand sanitizer and strangers and unfriendly dogs, and---god save me---cats.

Oh horrors! Terrors and tail-curling stuff of nightmares! I was at the vet.