Switch to dark mode 🌚
Increase font size
Decrease font size

Lint F.A.Q.

Sunday, January 5, 2025
Every night before I get into the shower, I pluck a little ball of black lint out of my belly button. This is a profund and routine act.
Q:
What do you do with the lint?
A:
I flick it into the trash can, or, if I'm lazy, I let it drop into the sink.
Q:
Why is putting it in the sink the lazier option?
A:
The trash can has a pedal-operated lid and is low to the ground. Operating it requires movement of the legs and also some bending of the wrist to more accurately flick the lint where it belongs.
Q:
Are you worried about clogging the sink drain?
A:
Not at all. It's really a very, very small amount of lint.
Q:
Then why not always flick it into the sink?
A:
I'm worried about clogging the drain.
Q:
What are you even talking about?
A:
Belly button lint, the burden that must be borne by god's chosen people, innies.
Q:
Where does it come from?
A:
The slow unravelling of my t-shirts, one teeny tiny fiber at a time, just as the world and time itself unravel too, the loose fibers of civilization daily collecting in the belly button of Creation, death, which comes for us all.
Q:
Why is it black?
A:
Because my t-shirts are black.
Q:
All of them?
A:
Yes. I suffer from hyperhidrosis. Black hides the pit stains.
Q:
Does the belly button's rich symbolism--as the last vestige of the life-giving connection to your mother, the cord which your father so cruelly cut and audaciously tied, giving you unasked-for independence--does this symbolism ever bring you to your knees, crying out in analytical agony on the bathroom floor as thread by thread your life unwinds itself into your cold, sweaty hands?
A:
No, that would be silly, wouldn't it?
there is no previous
Random