Are you stuck in a year-long lease for a tiny bedroom in a tiny apartment that you figured would be totally worth the slightly less ridiculous rent because hey, it's not like you spent that much time in your room anyway what with work and the gym and seeing friends, but now, but now you're in there all day, every day and it's cold and the wifi keeps cutting out and you really, really, desperately want to move, but you can't afford a security deposit, first and last month's rent -- and the broker fee -- don't forget about the broker fee! -- so you're stuck, totally stuck?!

Or did you lose your job and decide to cut costs and move back in to your childhood bedroom with the racecar bed -- really? A racecar bed? All the way through high school? -- and your insufferable mother won't stop calling you podgekins and tucking you in at night and making you biscuits -- you hate biscuits! -- and you really, really, desperately want to move out to have your own place again, but you're absolutely broke and unemployed and you're certainly not asking Dad for money -- not after last time -- so you're stuck, totally stuck?!

Don't despair! With this simple trick from the esteemed Dave Dunmer, Ph.D., you'll soon trick yourself into thinking you've moved out, but you haven't! Ever since Harvard educated Dr. Dunmer invented this quick trick, he has been the scourge of realtors everywhere. They hate him!

The trick has been scientifically proven to reduce or even stop your fervent desires to get the hell out, all at no cost to you! No broker fee!

Hear it from the world-renowned, Ivy Leaguer, peer reviewed psychologist himself! Dr. Dunmer says, "Yeah, uh, just like move all your furniture around every six months. Makes the place look like new."

Incredible! Amazing! Thank you Dr. Dunmer!